Misery Enjoys Company
by cleopatra1111
Summary: It seems that everything in Gilberts life is falling apart, and yet he desperately tries to keep that grin on his face. AU, T for language  although not much, and who cares?


**[A/N] Wow, I haven't been on here in ages. I know I haven't updated in ages, but I've recently had this whole reading fest and I read all of these amazing stories which are so beautifully written, and I suddenly got so ashamed that I write stuff and call it good. And anyway, I don't have a great deal of people who actually read my stuff anyway, so whats the point? (oh well, *goes to sulk in emo corner*)  
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**Anyway, I've recently had this HUGE obssession with PruCan, because they are so awesome, and I gave this oneshot a try. First time writing oneshots, and I was really disappointed with the end, but oh well.**

**Got inspired by Silver and Gray's "I have all Summer to Fall for you". ITS AMAZING, I COMPLETELY RECOMMEND YOU GO READ IT AND PESTER HER TO UPDATE SOONER. (ahhem, anyways, i really hope that some good might come out of this -_-)**

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><p>Gilbert opened his eyes and moaned. His alarm clock was sending thunderous jolts through his aching head. Slamming his hand down onto the buttons, he slowly awoke and moaned once more. This day was nothing short of a nightmare; another school day.<p>

The fact that he had just two years of school left was one of the few things that still kept him going. That and maybe also his best friend, Matthew Williams. He always wondered why such a polite kid would ever think of befriending him, he was, as his teachers and parents like to put it, a failure after all. Nonetheless, he was still the most awesome.

Pulling on some jeans and a hoodie, he trotted down the stairs in search of his breakfast. Entering the kitchen, he saw his mother and Ludwig already at the table. He pulled up a chair next to his brother.

"Good morning!"

His mother sighed, and started to fill his plate.

"Gilbert, did you do your homework? If you don't improve your grades, I'm going to have to send you to the tutoring institution."

The tutoring institution; the hellhole for all teenagers. Four weeks of "educational" camp; a nice way to say the place where all the retards and idiots go because they're too stupid for school.

"Ja, of course I did. Don't you trust me, Mutti?"

She narrowed her eyes and sighed.

"Gilbert, you know I love you. Sometimes, I just wish you could act like your brother more often."

She then turned to ruffle Ludwig's hair.

"So, my darling, how was yesterday at Feliciano's? I hope you managed alright, that boy can get really energetic sometimes."

Gilbert looked away from the scene. It wasn't extremely obvious, but he knew that his mother was always giving subtle hints of favouritism. So far, he had never seen his dear "Mutti" to get angry with Ludwig, but always seemed to find the smallest things to blow up at Gilbert for.

These thoughts swirled in Gilberts mind for the whole journey to school, and only when he saw familiar brown locks, bouncing in the crowd, did his mood brighten.

"Hey Birdie. What's up? I bet you couldn't wait to see my awesomeness, didn't you?"

"Shut up. I'm just happy. Is it so wrong of me to be happy?"

"As I just said, you're only happy because the awesome me is your best friend!"

Matthew sighed. The morning routine was normal. He would find Gilbert outside the gates, because he was usually late, and Gilbert would instantly blow the roof off with his boisterous volume. Since today was Friday, they had PE first period, so they both went to change before the day began.

Matthew kept a worried glance over his companion. Over the past few weeks, he could see a very strained attitude coming through all of Gilberts actions. His wide grin stayed with him, but it had turned into more of a forced smile, rather than his usual natural happiness. It also didn't help that he had noticed Gilberts grades slowly but surely dropping. He knew that Gilbert was smart, and in fact, sometimes they would tutor each other in certain subjects. Usually, Matthew would help Gilbert with his History and English literature, and likewise, Gilbert would be more than willing to share his scientific insights.

They changed in silence, unusual for Gilbert, despite his huge (forced) grin. When they had finished, both turned to leave, and Gilbert unseemingly collided with the nearest person. He looked up straight into chocolaty eyes, and his head suddenly spun round. He turned to Matthew.

"Hey Mattie, you go ahead. I'll meet you in the classroom ok?"

Matthew grimaced. He knew this wasn't going to end well. He made a move to leave the changing rooms, and hid behind the door, his ear pressed up against the wood.

Gilberts tone had changed only slightly, but he could sense the nervousness.

"Hey Elizaveta, you feeling well today? And before you ask, I'm feeling awesome today, because I'm just that cool."

"Gilbert, wipe that smug look off your face." She laughed softly. "You need to give that ego of yours a good deflation. I'm fine."

"Yeah…So anyway, do you…uh, want to…maybe catch a movie with me sometime?"

Matthew winced. Gilbert sounded so hopeful, so desperate. Unfortunately for Matthew, hearing his best friend propose something along the sorts of a date was very painful. Especially to a girl. He couldn't help it; his chest ached when Gilbert had said those words. He knew his crush was stupid, and so therefore decided not to take any actions for continuing it. Now since his chances had completely evaporated; Gilbert asking a girl out, after all. He didn't want to suddenly come out before all his friends, or worse yet, risk his friendship with the albino. It was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Despite the looks of surprise or pity he got from everyone, when he told them who his best friend was, inside he was smiling his little heart out. He loved the fact that Gilbert could uplift any mood throughout the whole day. He loved the huge smile that just radiated pure happiness. He even enjoyed Gilberts' constant antics of awesomeness. In fact, he always wondered why his friend had decided to pick him, out of all the school, the quietest person, to be his companion.

Once again, his heart sunk as the conversation continued. The quiet room was now filled with tickly laughter, which him want nothing more than to burst through the door, and just smack the girl upside the head.

"Oh Gilbert, you're too funny. You? And me? On a date?" She laughed once more and left before patting the albino on the shoulder. Matthew sneaked a glance before his friend looked up. Those eyes, those ruby eyes were so full of despair and disappointment; Matthew just wished he wasn't such a coward.

He didn't bother to hide when his friend came sauntering out of the room. He layed a hand on Gilberts shoulder, the one that Eliza had patted, and he jumped from the contact. He plastered a fake smile on his face before looking back at Matthew.

"Oh hey Birdie. Uh, about that. Eliza's just a stupid bitch. I'm just too awesome for her."

"Yeah, I know. I think you can do better than her."

"Well duh. But, it's still nice to know that _someone_ appreciates my awesomeness, right Mattie?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

They both laughed a little on the way to PE, because Matthew was trying desperately to make Gilbert forget about his bad mood. Today, they were just playing a simple game of baseball outside. Matthew glanced at his class; it was small, with just 14 members (just to make the learning easier and all that bullshit, as Gilbert liked to say).

The coach chose two captains to pick their teams, a classic and lazy manoeuvre on the coach's part. Still, the hasty move had already taken it's toll on his poor friend. Although he was quite well built, Gilbert wasn't usually the first pick; in fact today, he was chosen second last, before Matthew.

"Well motherfucker. Aren't we unlucky today?" Gilbert sourly commented.

The coach laughed gruffly before slapping his big hand on Gilberts shoulder.

"Don't lie to yourself, boy. If your brother were here, he would be able to beat you senseless within five seconds. And he's only fourteen for crying out loud."

Matthew spun round to quickly reply.

"Hey, you got chosen before me anyway."

A bitter smile fell on Gilbert's crestfallen face. After that, Matthew had never seen Gilbert try so little to do well for his team.

An hour passed, of nothing but cussing and angry faces. Gilbert was spinning his bat, looking nonchalant as ever, while people threw insults at him relentlessly. He just grinned and walked towards the school. He had lost the entire game for his team. His almost evil looking smile never once faltered.

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><p>"Gilbert, you could've tried harder. Why don't you take the time to study and learn the material?"<p>

A stern face peered down into Gilberts silvery locks. He looked up, to look at his teacher.

"Sorry Mr. Wang. I'll do better next time."

Matthew looked over his own test, to glimpse a small red "B" adorning his World History questionnaire. Then, after the teacher went back to his desk, sneaked a glance to see a "D-" on Gilberts paper. Meanwhile, his friend was busy pushing his face deep into the palms of his hands. However, he recovered quickly, only to see Matthew's worried expression.

"Hey Mattie, you look like you've just been to a funeral or something. You better not be worried about me. My level of awesomeness is above that of puny school testing. MWAHAHA."

He let out an evil chuckle, forcing Matthew to burst out laughing beside him. Nothing was better than having a friend who didn't care about whatever happened to him. Did he care? That was what Matthew was worried about.

Patting his comrade on the back (and hard), Gilbert packed up his things and dragged Matthew the corridor, where they parted ways for their later periods. The Canadian just hoped that Gilbert would fare safely for the rest of the day.

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><p>Matthew gazed around the lunch hall in search of his friend. Quickly, he caught sight of the snowy hair and made his way across the large room. He neared the table, but to his dismay, he saw that Gilbert had buried his head in his hands and was taking shuddering breaths. He sat quietly across from the albino.<p>

"Gilbert? Is everything all right? This isn't like you at all."

He looked up with a sour expression, this time, frowning down at Matthew. His forehead was red from his hands, and his hair was dishevelled. Matthew couldn't help but notice how Gilberts hair was always looking so attractive, despite its messy condition. No! Now was not the time to be admiring Gilberts features.

"Shut up, Matthew! I'm fine. Leave me alone!"

They both froze. Matthew had never heard Gilbert use his full name before. And he had said it with such _venom_. It was almost heartbreaking. Gilbert faltered, he looked very unsure of himself.

"I…I just- I can't…you can't~" Before he could finish his sentence, he stood up and almost ran away from the table, leaving his food abandoned before Matthew. He stared at Gilbert, not looking away, as he made his way to exit the cafeteria. But just at the door, he saw Gilberts brother, Ludwig. He sighed.

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><p>"Hey Ludwig, what's up?" Gilbert said to his brother. What's more, Gilbert realized, is that he said it <em>menacingly<em>. He had never heard himself use such an intimidating tone, even if it was his oh-so perfect brother.

"Leave me alone, bruder."

"Oh what's this I hear? Don't you want to say hello to me? You know, so far, everyone I've met today said that I should be more like you. You know why?"

"Leave me alone." Ludwig calmly replied.

Gilbert felt himself getting angrier by the second. He wished he could stop, he begged himself to stop, but he was full to the brim with boiling water, and he had to let it out.

"Because, Ludwig is my perfect, punctual, kind, versatile and fucking fantastic brother."

"Go away, Gilbert." His patience was wearing thin.

He had to admit, his brother was looking a tad worried. He knew that he had never acted like this before.

"Because my brother, who is only fucking 14, can beat me up. Because my brother gets better grades than me. Because my mother fucking brother, is so much better~"

"And you're the failure." Ludwig almost snarled back. "You're the mistake. You ever wonder why our parents are so young? Its because, you're a goddamn MISTAKE."

The hall had gone quiet. Gilbert had also gone silent. His arms slumped to his sides. Although Matthew couldn't see well from far away, he could just_ feel_ Gilbert's humiliation. It was like a thick atmosphere, choking and drowning both him and Gilbert. Without a second glance back, the German boy ran out of the room.

Instantly, Matthew hurried to his feet. He put away the untouched food and shuffled awkwardly through the still silent hall, everyone's eyes trained on him. He didn't care. Right now, nothing was important.

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><p>Matthew first checked the sports bleachers, where the two would usually sit in free time. Unfortunately, he found no Gilbert hiding underneath the seats. His chest sunk, that must mean that Gilbert didn't even want Matthew to find him. But he so desperately wanted to find him. He needed to make sure that Gilbert was ok, he hated, absolutely detested when he saw that look of complete desperation that was devoid of hope and happiness.<p>

When everyone had looked at Gilbert with judging and sneering eyes, they only saw an arrogant boy with anger issues. Matthew saw a cry for help, which only the closest to him would notice.

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><p>Gilbert sat huddled into himself. He was alone; he was confused, he simply didn't understand. Why, he asked himself, must life be so difficult? Why had he such a big mouth, blurting things out and then regretting them instantly? He was such a jerk when it came to things like that. Why couldn't he just be the perfect boy that everyone loved? Like Ludwig, he though sourly.<p>

Even more importantly, why was he acting like this to his _best friend_? The only person who laughed at his jokes, the only person who would listen to his arrogant rants long enough to hear his real feelings, the only person who has bothered to really get to know him. And he was just throwing that all away in the fit of anger. Matthew had stayed his friend for the four years that had been high school, and now he was wondering why. Why would such a quiet and polite person want to hang out with him?

And, why, he thought bittersweetly, must the little Canadian have such an impact on his life. Slowly but surely, Gilbert was ruining their friendship. He was nothing but loud, arrogant, rude and selfish, and here he was, making the life of such a good person hell. And slowly but surely, the boy had found his way down into Gilberts heart. And whenever he saw that Matthew had saved him a seat in the cinema, or let him stay over when his parents were throwing fits, he would get so confused. He just didn't know what to do.

_What will my parents say? What will everyone think of me? I'm just another failure. Why does Matthew even like me? Will he stop being my friend if I tell him? Will I lose the only person I've ever cared about?_

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><p>And so, Matthew scoured the entire school in search for his friend. He knew he was certainly going to miss his lessons, and that did pain him slightly, however, Gilbert was <em>much<em> more important than lessons that he could catch up to.

He looked in the hallways, the empty classrooms, and the bathrooms, even the janitor's closets. He went outside and searched the entire fields, and the forests that surrounded them. Although he desperately didn't want to give up, Matthew had the feeling that he had searched everywhere. Slowly, turning back to the school, he started to sulk, but his mood instantly brightened when he caught sight of the unmistakable white hair.

Running into the school, and sprinting into action, Matthew realized that he had never been so energized before. He rarely did sports (except hockey) and he never externally showed signs of passionate emotion, and he hated arguments. But now, now he was running as if for his life. He sprinted up the stairs and through every door never once faltering. When, at last, Matthew had reached the top most corridor, he ran the end and pried open the window (which wasn't remarkably difficult because of the prior help).

Scrambling outside, he was blasted by a full face of cold air. Recovering from the shock, we finally slowed his actions down, to search for the handsome hair that he had spied earlier. And surely enough, sitting dangerously close to the edge, was the boy that Matthew loved so dearly.

He returned to his usual, almost silent state, and crawled down the roof, to join Gilbert. Looking down at him, he could see that the boy was shaking violently. Slowly, he reached close enough to place a steadying hand on Gilberts shoulder, the same one that had been so cruelly held for all of the day.

Gilbert jumped at the touch, and turned angrily to look at his assailants face. When he saw that it was Matthew, his expression softened, but only then turned more sad and dejected.

"Gilbert…" He whispered.

"What? Just go away." Gilberts heart clenched when he said that, but continued to steel himself.

"Gilbert, I~"

"No! Look, you need to go. I don't want you to miss your lessons."

"You're more important than my lessons."

Gilbert winced. This boy was doing horrors to his mental state.

"I don't want you failing because of me. I don't want you to be burdened because of me. You shouldn't be friends with me!"

"No, I~"

"Why? Why do you care? My teachers think I'm a failure, my parents think I'm a failure. Hell, I'm the _mistake_." He spit out snarling. "No one cares, so why should you. It would be so much better if~"

"Shut up!" Matthew suddenly shouted. He then started at his own voice, which had risen in volume, _much_ higher than his usual quiet temperament. Gilbert looked surprised as well. Nonetheless, Matthew took the opportunity.

"Stop talking like that. I care because I know you. What people see when they look at may be negative because of your attitude, but that's positive in my eyes. Like the way that you can brighten the mood, anytime, anywhere."

"Birdie, you can talk like that, but it's not the truth. Hell, Eliza turned me down for good reasons. Damn, its like, there's no one out there who thinks that I'm worthy of life. I'm- I'm so confused. I don't think that there's anyone out there who's even willing to spend more than five minutes in my presence. I'm such a fucking loser. Stupid, arrogant, rude, selfish~"

But Gilbert was cut off by Matthew's lips engulfing his own. They were so warm and comforting, and at the same time, so shy like the boy that Matthew was. Gilbert of course was surprised, and soon Matthew pried himself off of Gilbert.

"Uh, Mattie. What the hell?"

Matthew died a little when he heard these words, but decided to screw all logic in his brain, and risk all of his dignity.

"Gilbert, just know that you're not alone. I love you for who you are, and have loved you for a long time."

After the realization hit him, a blush spread across Matthew's cheeks, and all that was going through Gilbert's head, was _cute_.

He leaned in and this time, it was Gilbert kissing Matthew. He wrapped his arms around his best friend's lithe waist. Matthew pulled his own hands into Gilberts hair and entangled himself deeper into his chest. He noticed that Gilbert was kissing him so desperately, yet so tenderly, as if his life depended on kissing Matthew. He let himself go in this moment of bliss before finally breaking apart.

Matthew smiled at Gilbert and pulled him to his feet.

"Come on." He said excitedly.

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><p>Half an hour later, and they were out in the streets. Matthew spotted the crêperie and dragged Gilbert inside the café, immediately ordering some pancakes with maple syrup. The two boys sat at the corner table, and Matthew beamed with satisfaction. Gilbert looked dishevelled, mostly from Matthew stroking his hair so much, but also with a very content look on his face. His wide grin returned as he looked back at Matthew.<p>

"Are we bunking?"

"Sure are."

"This isn't like you at all, birdie."

"Well, right now, and as I said earlier, everything is less important than you. I would have skipped the whole day if I had known…"

"Known what?"

Matthew nervously laughed. He twiddled his fingers and looked down at the wooden table.

"That I, uh, that you…"

"That I liked you?"

"Uh, yeah, that."

"You would have skipped the whole day? Why? Because I'm super awesome."

"Well, yeah, that. And, also because maybe its your birthday today?"

Gilbert's smile faded to reveal a gobsmacked expression. Matthew sighed in how attractive that looked.

"How did you~?"

"Because, Gilbert, I love you. I should know these things."

Gilbert then almost copied Matthew's expression and his pale face grew red. Matthew noticed his expression and chuckled to himself. He wondered if Gilbert could get any redder.

"Oh, and I just love your hair, it's gorgeous." Matthew proceeded to stroke Gilberts hair, who instantly snatched Matthews hand away. Once he realized that he was holding Matthew's hand, he let it go, and indeed the blush adorning Gilberts flawless features grew brighter and spread down his neck.

"You bastard. You're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

"I can't help it, it's just how sexy you are."

Gilbert recovered and his grin returned. He then reclaimed Matthew's hand which he had previously dropped, and replied snappily,

"I didn't know you had it in you, Mattie."

He sighed.

"I'm…I am really sorry for acting like a bitch today."

"You had every reason to. And for the record, you don't fail at everything. And about that whole 'mistake' concept, I am really glad that mistakes happen, because if they didn't, you wouldn't be here."

"Dude, you do realize that this probably means we're both gay, right?"

"I couldn't care less. I said it before and I will say it again, I love you Gilbert Beilshmidt."

Gilbert suddenly remembered his previous doubts up on the roof. All those questions and worries. But right now, he decided to screw everyone in the world, just for this one person.

"I love you too, Matthew."


End file.
